breed narcissism."
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Effect on the Offspring
Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Causes: Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Hospitalization:
Treatment on Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Psychosocial Treatment:
Treatment on Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Effect that a narcissist parent has on his offspring. At the risk of
over-simplification: narcissism tends to breed narcissism. Only a minority of the children
of narcissistic parents become narcissists. This may be due to genetic predisposition or
different life circumstances (like not being firstborn). But MOST narcissists had one or
more narcissistic parents or caregivers.
The narcissistic parent regards his or her child as a multi-faceted Source of Narcissistic
Supply. The child is considered and treated as an extension of the narcissist. It is
through the child that the narcissist seeks to settle "open scores" with the world. The
child is supposed to realise the unfulfilled dreams, wishes, and fantasies of the
narcissistic parent. This "life by proxy" can develop in two possible ways: the narcissist
can either merge with his child or be ambivalent towards him. The ambivalence is the
result of a conflict between the attainment of narcissistic goals through the child and
pathological (destructive) envy.
To ameliorate the unease bred by emotional ambivalence, the narcissistic parent resorts to
a myriad of control mechanisms. The latter can be grouped into: guilt-driven ("I
sacrificed my life for you…"), dependence-driven ("I need you, I cannot cope without
you…"), goal-driven ("We have a common goal which we can and must achieve") and explicit
("If you do not adhere to my principles, beliefs, ideology, religion or any other set of
values – I will impose sanctions on you").
The exercise of control helps to sustain the illusion that the child is a part of the
narcissist. This sustenance calls for extraordinary levels of control (on the part of the
parent) and obedience (on the part of the child). The relationship is typically symbiotic
and emotionally turbulent.
The child fulfils another important narcissistic function – that of the provision of
Narcissistic Supply. There is no denying the implied (though imaginary) immortality in
having a child. The early (natural) dependence of the child on his caregivers, serves to
assuage the fear of abandonment, which is THE driving force in the narcissist's life. The
narcissist tries to perpetuate this dependence, using the aforementioned control
mechanisms. The child is the ultimate Secondary Narcissistic Source of Supply. He is
always present, he admires, he accumulates and remembers the narcissist's moments of
triumph. Owing to his wish to be loved he can be extorted into constant giving. To the
narcissist, a child is a dream come true, but only in the most egotistical sense. When the
child is perceived as "reneging" on his main obligation (to provide his narcissistic
parent with constant supply of attention) – the parent's emotional reaction is harsh and
revealing.
It is when the narcissistic parent is disenchanted with his child that we see the true
nature of this pathological relationship. The child is totally objectified. The narcissist
reacts to a breach in the unwritten contract with wells of aggression and aggressive
transformations: contempt, rage, emotional and psychological abuse, and even physical
violence. He tries to annihilate the real "disobedient" child and substitute it with the
subservient, edifying, former version.
Procedural Law
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